My mom said that me being trans somehow got brought up while my brother and Ann were talking, and now I'm wondering if that's why she acts weird towards me. I want to ask my brother how that got brought up and how she reacted but I don't think he wants to have a conversation about anything trans-related with me since I know he doesn't like the fact I'm trans. lol
Christmas means so much to me. More than anything, it's sensory. The entire experience of music and coloured light and the scent of our pine tree transports me to a safer time. It seems all of my positive childhood memories revolve around Christmas, because otherwise I recall very little about growing up. My father passed on Christmas Eve so that brings a sad element, but it's also very fitting because it was his favourite day of the year. I miss going to church. I miss many things and many people, but I love Christmas Eve with all of my heart.
@Wizadry I suffer from depression periodically also. I really hope you feel better soon. My therapist always reminds me that the sun is still there behind the dark clouds and will show its face again .
I wish I knew the right words to help you feel less lonely.
In my worst moments of depression, I'd go in a pitch dark room and try to imagine a tiny point of light anywhere in the distance. I could always picture one, even if it wasn't there.
It's hard for me to ever say I'm doing well given the issues I'm facing, but what I can say is that I'm feeling somewhat better this week. I've had other things to focus on that have given me less time to dwell on the horrible realities of my life.
Unfortunately, I'd be surprised if the pendulum doesn't swing the other way soon. Once I'm out of distractions, things will likely get bad again.
Two days of virtually back to back 'Teams' video meetings at work, having to look at all of those faces on the screen, process what they are saying and maintain an interested and engaged demeanor throughout
Stepdaughter and eldest granddaughter COVID positive . Granddaughter and her baby son are OK. Stepdaughter is feeling sick and tired. Been in bed all day. Was the same yesterday.
Stepdaughter and eldest granddaughter COVID positive . Granddaughter and her baby son are OK. Stepdaughter is feeling sick and tired. Been in bed all day. Was the same yesterday.
I hope that your family is okay and that their symptoms don't get worse. How long do they think they have had COVID?
Two days of virtually back to back 'Teams' video meetings at work, having to look at all of those faces on the screen, process what they are saying and maintain an interested and engaged demeanor throughout
Hoping you are recovering, I would be exhausted from that quantity of interaction, not even sure how I would manage it.
Stepdaughter and eldest granddaughter COVID positive . Granddaughter and her baby son are OK. Stepdaughter is feeling sick and tired. Been in bed all day. Was the same yesterday.
I can only imagine your distress with this situation, we are here for you.
Feeling useless and worthless. My self confidence is little more than gossamer thin. I'm totally useless at so many things. In a vain attempt to convince myself I had one thing I'm not totally useless at (coupled with an autistic interest in tests) I joined a site that discusses IQ tests. On Wednesday the test I got the best score on was rubbished. Yesterday I posted the result of another test, and that too was rubbished, along with being replied to as though I'm really stupid. I've been ruminating and ruminating and am struggling to get past feeling crap.
Having to accept there's nothing you are good at, and indeed for most things aren't even average at is a bitter pill to swallow.
Truth is I'm fat,ugly,stupid,useless and worthless.
@firemonkey said:
Feeling useless and worthless. My self confidence is little more than gossamer thin. I'm totally useless at so many things. In a vain attempt to convince myself I had one thing I'm not totally useless at (coupled with an autistic interest in tests) I joined a site that discusses IQ tests. On Wednesday the test I got the best score on was rubbished. Yesterday I posted the result of another test, and that too was rubbished, along with being replied to as though I'm really stupid. I've been ruminating and ruminating and am struggling to get past feeling crap.
Having to accept there's nothing you are good at, and indeed for most things aren't even average at is a bitter pill to swallow.
Truth is I'm fat,ugly,stupid,useless and worthless.
Did other people give you crap for your IQ score? You have a very high IQ from what I've seen, so if they rate intelligence by IQ scores I think you're doing just fine and are not stupid. Those people can shove it if they want to be rude to you.
If you also didn't get a score that you usually get it may be because you're feeling bad. I don't perform well on any type of test when I'm stressed out.
Comments
Conflicted.
My mom said that me being trans somehow got brought up while my brother and Ann were talking, and now I'm wondering if that's why she acts weird towards me. I want to ask my brother how that got brought up and how she reacted but I don't think he wants to have a conversation about anything trans-related with me since I know he doesn't like the fact I'm trans. lol
Nostalgic
Christmas means so much to me. More than anything, it's sensory. The entire experience of music and coloured light and the scent of our pine tree transports me to a safer time. It seems all of my positive childhood memories revolve around Christmas, because otherwise I recall very little about growing up. My father passed on Christmas Eve so that brings a sad element, but it's also very fitting because it was his favourite day of the year. I miss going to church. I miss many things and many people, but I love Christmas Eve with all of my heart.
Pretty depressed, as usual.
Such a bastard depression. There are members on here who do get it.
have you heard of these guys?
https://www.myblackdog.co/
Any support wanted/needed we are here.
Thanks man, I appreciate that.
I've heard of blackdog but I'm not intimately familiar with who they are and what they do.
In my case, my depression is caused by specific problems in my life that it doesn't seem like I can do much to change. Yeah, it sucks.
I know there are those that have situational depression, hopefully you can share your experiences.
@Wizadry I suffer from depression periodically also. I really hope you feel better soon.
My therapist always reminds me that the sun is still there behind the dark clouds and will show its face again .
Thinking of you, @Wizardry.
I wish I knew the right words to help you feel less lonely.
In my worst moments of depression, I'd go in a pitch dark room and try to imagine a tiny point of light anywhere in the distance. I could always picture one, even if it wasn't there.
I hope you find your light.
Thanks @Teach51 and @Isabella.
It's hard for me to ever say I'm doing well given the issues I'm facing, but what I can say is that I'm feeling somewhat better this week. I've had other things to focus on that have given me less time to dwell on the horrible realities of my life.
Unfortunately, I'd be surprised if the pendulum doesn't swing the other way soon. Once I'm out of distractions, things will likely get bad again.
Distractions are a Way of Life with me.
Headache
Grrrr. Damned doorbell. Damned whiskey loll
Tired.
Lots of work to do and a sleep schedule that needs fixing.
Discombobulated.
I had a telephone call
Although it was from the psychological practice I’ve been referred to for assessment to book first appointment in the process, so that’s positive
What will they make of me though?
Exhausted
Two days of virtually back to back 'Teams' video meetings at work, having to look at all of those faces on the screen, process what they are saying and maintain an interested and engaged demeanor throughout
Worried.
Stepdaughter and eldest granddaughter COVID positive . Granddaughter and her baby son are OK. Stepdaughter is feeling sick and tired. Been in bed all day. Was the same yesterday.
I hope that your family is okay and that their symptoms don't get worse. How long do they think they have had COVID?
Sending prayers for their swift recovery, @firemonkey. It must be very scary for you.
@Hylian @Isabella Thank you. Test came back positive last Friday. That's all I know re how long they've had it.
Hope they both show improvement of symptoms soon and make a good recovery.
@Karamazov Thank you
@Firemonkey:
I hope that your loved ones recover swiftly. My prayers are with you
Hoping you are recovering, I would be exhausted from that quantity of interaction, not even sure how I would manage it.
I can only imagine your distress with this situation, we are here for you.
Just be there for your family, Firemonkey, even if it’s not “in person.”
I wish them all a speedy recovery.
I'm so stressed out that my chest hurts and I have a headache. I'm so tired of dealing with everything.
We are here for you. Are you able to get out for a walk?
Thinking of you.
I hope everything will turn out OK. We're definitely here for you, 24/7.
Feeling useless and worthless. My self confidence is little more than gossamer thin. I'm totally useless at so many things. In a vain attempt to convince myself I had one thing I'm not totally useless at (coupled with an autistic interest in tests) I joined a site that discusses IQ tests. On Wednesday the test I got the best score on was rubbished. Yesterday I posted the result of another test, and that too was rubbished, along with being replied to as though I'm really stupid. I've been ruminating and ruminating and am struggling to get past feeling crap.
Having to accept there's nothing you are good at, and indeed for most things aren't even average at is a bitter pill to swallow.
Truth is I'm fat,ugly,stupid,useless and worthless.
Did other people give you crap for your IQ score? You have a very high IQ from what I've seen, so if they rate intelligence by IQ scores I think you're doing just fine and are not stupid. Those people can shove it if they want to be rude to you.
If you also didn't get a score that you usually get it may be because you're feeling bad. I don't perform well on any type of test when I'm stressed out.