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I'm finally 100% sure that I'm autistic.

darkcloak_dragondarkcloak_dragon New Member, Member
in General ASD
Even after I got diagnosed, I didn't feel entirely sure.

Now that my health has deteriorated, I have the stereotypical autistic traits: out-of-control stimming, repeating things over and over again, decreased ability to switch tasks, I ignore people because talking is so tiring, and I can't force myself to look at people's faces like I used to. Plus I have gut issues and insomnia. It's a bit frightening because I'm used to having more control over myself and I know that sticking out too much makes me a target.

Comments

  • Statest16Statest16 Citizen, Mentor
    Good to hear you have figured things out 🙂
  • verityverity Administrator, Citizen
    That is good to hear. I think many of us struggle with imposter syndrome,  don't worry that is a normal part of the process.
  • AmityAmity Administrator, Citizen
    darkcloak_dragon said:
    Even after I got diagnosed, I didn't feel entirely sure.

    Now that my health has deteriorated, I have the stereotypical autistic traits: out-of-control stimming, repeating things over and over again, decreased ability to switch tasks, I ignore people because talking is so tiring, and I can't force myself to look at people's faces like I used to. Plus I have gut issues and insomnia. It's a bit frightening because I'm used to having more control over myself and I know that sticking out too much makes me a target.

    I can relate to not being sure the diagnosis was correct, thats how it is with Autism, there are so many variations within the same diagnostic categories that I tied myself in knots with the 'what-ifs'. Impostor syndrome  seems to be a regular experience for late diagnosed folk...
    Do you have a support network? I found it helpful having a virtual/online group as I explored the idea of being on the autistic spectrum.
    Like you I ran out of energy for masking, even though it was key for my independence, I couldn't continue; the holistic health consequences made it an unsustainable way of being.
  • darkcloak_dragondarkcloak_dragon New Member, Member
    Amity said:

    Impostor syndrome  seems to be a regular experience for late diagnosed folk...
    Do you have a support network? I found it helpful having a virtual/online group as I explored the idea of being on the autistic spectrum.
    "Imposter syndrome" is such a strange thing to call it. I'm used to that phrase being applied to people who doubt their abilities and achievements. I don't see how it applies to doubting a medical condition.

    I didn't really have a support network, and I don't have one now unless this forum counts. My doubt was entirely a technical matter of whether I fit the diagnostic criteria, so I don't think a support network could have helped me much. I mean it wasn't really an emotional issue for me.
  • AmityAmity Administrator, Citizen
    Like all things Autism, your experience will vary, but perhaps you might relate to an element within the articles.
    For me, my sense of who I am became quite interconnected with reframing past experiences through an Autistic lens and I found that akin to being on a rollercoaster!

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