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Being Alone Forever as An Autistic Person

darkcloak_dragondarkcloak_dragon New Member, Member
edited February 22 in General ASD
After a lifetime of misunderstandings, abuse, and disappointments, I've recently come to see that I do not like "socials" and will probably never be able to have any kind of productive relationship with any of them.

By "socials" I mean people who don't have a particularly autistic style of relating socially, whether they are neurotypical or not. You could say they are largely socially neurotypical (even if they have ADHD, dyslexia, etc.) Obviously it's not a precise term backed up by research, just something I've come up with to explain myself.

I consider myself to be typically autistic in that I do not have a strong, abiding social interest in other human beings, I'm content being that way, and, after having observed other people, it seems that a strong, abiding social interest implicates behavior or personal traits I find undesirable and therefore makes "socials" unattractive to me. It's not just obvious things like abusing, manipulating, and lying to people; it's stuff like being obsessed with social hierarchies, following self-destructive trends, participating on gossip websites, lying over minor things to "save face," just being way too involved in with what other people think or are doing. One big annoyance is that socials seem to think themselves experts in human nature and continually assume they know what other people are thinking, creating endless misunderstandings.

Since they apparently make up the majority of the human population, avoiding them means I'm unlikely to ever have any kind of substantial human relationship, whether platonic or more intimate (I'm not close to my family). That's unfortunate, I guess, but when I think about all the disgusting things socials do and the fact that neither they nor I will change, I don't really feel that bad about it.

I like very small children, and elderly people are nice enough, but people in that middle stage of life have just become unbearable to me, and I doubt many of them would appreciate my personality anyways.

I tend to prefer relating to people as animals: I care that people are safe and have food, shelter, etc. Mostly I talk to communicate information, not to bond socially, but I'm interested in sharing/talking about physical experiences like massage or walking in the rain or even bodily functions, but I've never been very interested in sharing emotions, I don't naturally notice social hierarchies, I don't feel connected to people through culture, and the fact that some people derive pleasure from dominating or humiliating others is so foreign it's like the behavior of insects or viruses to me rather than human behavior.
My parents didn't really love or understand me and my self-esteem is fine; socials can develop serious mental disturbances like self-hatred from the smallest lack of parental attention. Being so dependent on other people is a limitation and vulnerability to which I cannot relate. It's almost funny to me that socials consider prison solitary confinement to be torture because I would prefer it to being stuck with the other prisoners day after day. Even the positive social traits like caring for loved ones are just different for me. I can respect their needs and differences but I don't feel that I can stand them in my personal life.

We're already profoundly mentally divided so being socially divided from these people is ok and sort of the next logical step.


  • verityverity Administrator, Citizen
    edited February 22
    Nothing wrong with being asocial.

    There is some truth to what you said, however what I will say is being isolated can itself cause cognitive distortions about people. That is not surprising becuase you can only act on the information you have an the brain is adept in filling in gaps, However cognitive distortions are common place in the population and not exclusive to this scenario. This can feed anxiety too and we are not immune from these emotions.

    Dependency has its limitation, but at the same time lack of dependence also has some practical implication. Self-reliance is very difficult even for a survivalist.

    Autistic people might not relate to to people, however there is an obvious distinctions between that and professed asocial or even anti-social positions.

    Your point about humans understanding their nature is very true, but I do not blame them for that. Simply inherent behaviours are not something they are consciously aware of and their explanations not lining up is a natural consequence of not needing to be aware and simply acting.

  • darkcloak_dragondarkcloak_dragon New Member, Member
    verity said:
    Nothing wrong with being asocial.
    I don't consider myself asocial. I just need people a lot less, have less interest in them, and prefer to interact with them differently.
  • Statest16Statest16 Citizen, Mentor
    verity said:
    Nothing wrong with being asocial.
    I don't consider myself asocial. I just need people a lot less, have less interest in them, and prefer to interact with them differently.
    Asocial is sort of a spectrum,a pure asocial would be a schizoid personality type(not to be confused with schiziphrenia)
  • HylianHylian Citizen, Mentor
    verity said:
    Nothing wrong with being asocial.
    I don't consider myself asocial. I just need people a lot less, have less interest in them, and prefer to interact with them differently.
    "Asociality refers to the lack of motivation to engage in social interaction, or a preference for solitary activities. Asociality may be associated with avolition, but it can, moreover, be a manifestation of limited opportunities for social relations.[1] Developmental psychologists use the synonyms nonsocialunsocial, and social uninterest. Asociality is distinct from but not mutually exclusive to anti-social behavior. A degree of asociality is routinely observed in introverts, while extreme asociality is observed in people with a variety of clinical conditions."
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