The bullying effect
I’ve hardly talked to a MH pro about the bullying I was subjected to as a teenager, and the less obvious nastiness at prep school. Yesterday I told my care coordinator(she’s also my depot nurse) it was a major factor re my developing SMI.She asked if it still affected me.I said ‘yes’ . She mentioned trauma. She was visibly shocked when I mentioned being described by other prep school boys as the ‘missing link between man and ape’.The last meal at prep school when someone knowing there’d be no repercussions put tobacco in my cup of tea,so I was violently sick; the monkey chants at public school aimed at me by a classroomful of other boys.
My self confidence/self esteem/sense of self worth is gossamer thin/very brittle. I can get 9 positive comments and the negative 10th one will cut like a rusty knife causing great inner pain. It’s the one I’ll fixate on.
Despite many attempts to persuade me to do so, I've been very avoidant re pursuing further education. To be truthful I never thought of it as being a trauma thing She said EMDR or CBT could help.