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Autistics preferring the company of other autistics

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  • I work with children - I would say that about 75% are Autistic. Outside of work I have 2 NT friends (whom I have known since primary school and see a couple of times a year) but dont socialise with anyone else but family. Among my family I have duaghters, step sons and grandchildren that are Autistic.

    My wifes ex husband is still part of our extended family group. He lives locally and is Autistic. Nice chap, I get on well with him. Sounds a little odd I guess but it works well for us.

    When I compare how comfortable my interactions are between the Autistic and NT elements of the above I have to say that I find these more straightforward with those having Autism. They are all course very different people but I find communication easier and in general less tiring. This does not diminish my affection for the NT family members or lead me to favour one group over another!

  • I forgot to say that my wife is NT - however, she has an excellent understanding of ASD from her life experience. This doesnt mean things arent strained on occassion especially in relation to various aspects of communication and responding to emotional needs but I think that this all goes a little easier due to her knowledge and experience.

  • Magna said:

    I've noticed in my time perusing autism related forums that occasionally an autistic person who says they prefer interacting with other autistics over NTs is admonished and alluded to being a bigot. Why is that?


    I don't recall seeing anyone called a bigot merely for saying that they tend to prefer the company of other autistics,.  What is bigoted, and what I've often seen called out as NT-bashing, is making blanket over-generalizations about NT's.

    Another thing that might be considered bigoted would be insisting that all one's potential friends be diagnosed with ASD, rather than simply bonding with fellow oddballs over experiences of common oddballness.  (Likewise, I think it's a good idea for autistic community groups to welcome "autistic and similarly neurodivergent" people, or some similar expression, to allow for ambiguity rather than assuming everyone is NT until proven otherwise.)
  • MagnaMagna Citizen
    edited February 2021
    Magna said:

    I've noticed in my time perusing autism related forums that occasionally an autistic person who says they prefer interacting with other autistics over NTs is admonished and alluded to being a bigot. Why is that?


    I don't recall seeing anyone called a bigot merely for saying that they tend to prefer the company of other autistics,.  What is bigoted, and what I've often seen called out as NT-bashing, is making blanket over-generalizations about NT's.

    Another thing that might be considered bigoted would be insisting that all one's potential friends be diagnosed with ASD, rather than simply bonding with fellow oddballs over experiences of common oddballness.  (Likewise, I think it's a good idea for autistic community groups to welcome "autistic and similarly neurodivergent" people, or some similar expression, to allow for ambiguity rather than assuming everyone is NT until proven otherwise.)
    I agree that I have not seen an autistic person on an autism forum actually being called a bigot for declaring that they prefer the company of other autistics.  However I do believe I've seen situations in the past on autism forums where such declarations made have been called out and categorized as NT bashing then they're not.  

    I agree with and support inclusivity in autism forums.  I don't think there'd be any forum that would require proof of professional diagnosis as a criteria for membership.  I suppose I could see such a thing for a small closed group of autistics who wished to share far more with each other than a public forum would allow.

    In addition to having other ND-type members on autism forums, having NTs on autism forums can be beneficial for both the autistic members and the NT members.  However, in the case of NT members on autism forums I believe a position of deference regarding autism would best serve the community at large in a way similar to if there was an online support forum for black people to communicate and commiserate with each other and which allowed for the inclusion of white forum members.  It would be appropriate for white members of such a forum to be deferential to the black members of the forum.  There are many other examples I could give of appropriate deference on other non-autism type online forums.
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