Autism and change
Amity
Administrator, Citizen
A few months ago I started to look at how change impacts on me...
Anticipating it is the most difficult part, it becomes worse in my mind than it usually turns out to be, this is normally followed by a low mood and I have this standard reaction every time.
Since I started to be more aware of this reaction I have noticed my anxiety levels and the overwhelmed feelings have reduced as has the low mood, its still there, but more manageable. I try not to think about the change until I have to and that's helped by lessening the time I spend overthinking every detail.
Unexpected change and even a recent pleasant surprise led to I feeling instantly overwhelmed and overstimulated, my mind couldn't fully process what was happening or focus on what I needed to do and it took me a noticeably long time to react in the expected way...
Has anyone found ways/strategies for dealing with unexpected change in the moment?
Comments
Autism and change......Hmmmmm
Does anyone remember the old Sam Kinison comedic sketch about RAD "Rock against drugs"
What the f#5& is rock against drugs,isn't that like Christians against Christ!!! In a screaming voice.
Yea,autism and change,it's about like rock against drugs LOL
The thing I do for unexpected change is try to remind myself that other people deal with it a lot better than I do, and I try to think about the ways people I know have dealt with what I'm going through and how the outcome was for them. My issue with change is the outcome aspect of it and not knowing what will happen, so trying to think about ways I can be more likely to control that is helpful.
I still don't react to and adjust to change as fast as other people though and I don't think that will ever happen, which I'm fine with.
The more experience I had with changes the more damage that was done, it happened mostly before I knew that I was autistic or that change can be difficult for many of us. Its at a point now where I remind myself in anticipation of a change "that was then and this is now", as I can feel the stress response kicking in.
I think with sudden change I have a freeze response.
I don't tend to deal with certain types of unexpected change well. This is especially true when I don't see a good reason for it, or if I feel that it's unjustified.
I don’t feel competent to offer any suggestions. I’ve gotten smoother at negotiating some changes. For out of the blue knock-out changes, just staying silent for a bit helps. For some reason NTs seem put on a back foot by silence. Or I’ll ask if I can have time to consider.
But for all the progress I’ve made in so many ways, handling the next developmental stage of dealing with the limitations of getting older, is causing significant challenges.
Staying silent works well, for a few minutes anyway
What kind of limitations are the ones causing you concern Blaze?
Same here, including hating pleasant surprises. At least these days people let me be, but when I was younger I've had plenty of them trying to prove me how "nice" surprises actually are, then get mortally offended and aggravated when I didn't react the way they wanted
I also hate when people say "but I didn't think you really mean it".
I know change is an unavoidable part of life, I'm kind of resigned to the fact that it's going to happen. Obviously, it's easier if I have time to prepare, but I basically react to both the same way: soldier through, then pay the price. With the unexpected ones, masking often kicks in to get me through, even if I'm not always convincing.
The only thing that helps is having people who understand this is a real issue, not me being difficult or a drama queen, so won't get upset if I don't react the way they expected me to and allow me the time to recover. With my wife, we can even make jokes about it and that's a huge relief as it takes the pressure off.