I am ready to tear my hair out over my impaired executive functioning. Before I realized I was autistic, I didn't know why I had such a difficult time setting priorities and all the sub-priorities and categories and how to get things done. Now that I understand executive dysfunction better I can see that it is probably the most influential and integral contribution to my daily problems that clog up my head and get my anxiety and loss of self-esteem going.
I suspect that in earlier days I got by just on tons of energy and excitement and commitment to what I wanted to do. But now I am older and I don't seem to have the energy for all that. And I also think the dysfunction is getting worse. At least, it isn't getting better.
So, the overarching problem over the past year or two has been: I can get my work done (at least mostly) OR I can do the things that bring me joy. I don't have time and energy for both.
My challenge: improve my executive functioning.
I just took a class on how executive functioning works (biologically) and what interventions (pharmacology, behavior management, etc.) seem to improve or at least stave off the disintegration of executive dysfunction . Interestingly, the most potent preservative of executive function is: Exercise. and then also, freeing one's mind of all the worrying and chaotic self-talk that goes on inside the mind. And also, the most effective way to install and keep a new habit is to work on only one habit at a time.
So I have ditched WW and noom and will forget about restrictive dieting. I will work on only one thing and that is walking. I have found a great little app that does nothing except set walking goals. The smart phone itself counts steps and also times the walks and talks to you regarding warming up, moderate pace, cooling down, etc. And it will play your music the same time. It even has a program for old people, although it is named so euphemistically I didn't know what it was at first. I have been using this for 5 days and so far, so good.
This afternoon I was distressed over my inability to think about how best to spend about 2 hours of my time. Work (and get a couple of things off my desk?) clean house (I hate to do this, but my house is yukky), or go out in the beautiful sunshine and sit in a blind for a couple of hours (wonderful).
I corralled my assistant to help me finish filling out a Plan of Remediation (in my recent audit, my score was 99.3%, but anything less than 100% requires a plan.) This is required and exceedingly important to keeping my contract. Then I finished completing an evaluation and post test for a six hour continuing education course (also required for my contract.)
I ended up feeling better about my choices. And decided to put this down on paper and post it.
Other input on this topic is greatly appreciated.