Mutism and verbal communication
Isabella
Citizen
I'm diagnosed with Selective Mutism, which in my opinion should be called "Involuntary Mutism". I don't feel like it's selective because I have no control over it. It happens with specific people, and in certain contexts. For example, I barely speak to my mother. I physically can't. A wall goes up, and I can't break it down. I also have great difficulty using telephones and I've never left a voice message in my life. In other settings such as school and work, I was always very articulate. I'm also very chatty with my daughter. It's frustrating because I can't break the patterns.
I wondered if anyone else is mute, selective mute, or nonverbal? What types of treatment / assistive technology have you used? I use Relay on my phone (similar to TTY services for deaf people), and I've worked with Speech-Language Pathology as well as Occupational Therapy, but apparently SM is extremely hard to treat.
Comments
I am not sure if this experience counts, but when i first started school there were times i wanted to speak but couldn't.
With my peers especially, i often wanted to speak but my voice didn't come out. People used to say "wow she spoke!" when i did but i physically couldn't.
In primary school i never went to the school cafeteria, to use the restroom other people used to ask the teacher on my behalf.
I am not sure if this was because of anxiety, selective mutism or something else but this happened outside school too, often with children my age.
Thanks, April. Yes that does sound similar to what I experience. Nothing comes out! The worst thing in my opinion would be if I did speak and my mother or other people drew attention to it with "Wow! You spoke!"
That would really set me back.
Do you ever experience this now as an adult?
When I was younger sometimes not so much now
Yeah, in crowded places especially among my peers it used to happen a lot. The people who said that to me were kids like myself so i dont know if it was bullying or simply surprise. Either way everyone thought that i was just shy, when it was not something under my control at all.
This persisted until i was in high school, i didn't like to look people in the eye or say hi. It was very stressful. One morning i remember very clearly i told the people in class "good morning" when i entered. But they simply ignored it. I always thought i was not trying hard enough.
Nowadays i can talk clearly to pretty much everyone, i sort of mimic people i like and admire and say things they would say. Because it is a made up persona i do not feel self conscious.
Sometimes it seems impossible to talk, even when I want to. What I'm going to say can be on my mind, scripted out and ready to be said, but it's like my brain can't figure out how to start physically getting the words out. It's exacerbated by anxiety, but sometimes it just happens out of nowhere.
I actually don't use anything when that happens since I don't usually think to, I just kind of accept that I can't talk at that moment. I've considered writing things out, but I always think of that after it happens.
That's exactly it. It's like my body can't speak. Like in nightmares when you try to scream but you can't.
I'm sorry you deal with the same issue.
For me, my alexithymia is so profound that I wouldn't even know how to put my thoughts on paper if they were of an emotional nature or if I had to express empathy. I have tons of empathy but can seldom express it properly.
When I'm severely dissociated or in shutdown I can't talk or understand language. Or think or move.
I had selective mutism as a child but I grew out of it. I'm still a very quiet person especially if I'm with a group of people. I can't listen to everyone, let alone also respond. I can get very talkative when I have a burst of energy. But then my language can become gibberish-y. My usual self is low verbal, rapid thinker, slow talker and people often don't hear me when I speak.