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My father passed away yesterday

Peacefully in his sleep, as he wanted. I thought I was odd for feeling numb and in my case a bit detached and spaced out . My sister who was with him said she too feels numb. 

This may,or may not, sound  silly, but the one thing that's getting to me is no longer being able to share the interest we had in family history/genealogy. It was the thing we bonded most over.


  • AmityAmity Administrator, Citizen
    My condolences Firemonkey, for the loss of your father.

    Grief is rarely straightforward, I believe even more so for the Autistic person as our processing of experiences is unique to the individual.

    Numbness can help while we begin to process the death, it sounds like you and your sister are having that shared experience.

  • Thank you.
  • verityverity Administrator, Citizen
    edited July 2023
    My condolences Firemonkey.  Its not silly. You've done yourself proud sharing those moments with him.
  • Statest16Statest16 Citizen, Mentor
    I'm so sorry Firemonkey best wishes to you and all familiy through this difficult time.
  • Thank you.
  • Teach51Teach51 Citizen
    My sincere condolences fm. 
  • Thank you. Mentioned my mixed and contradictory emotions about our father to my brother . That my stepsister had sent me condolences and said 
    ' 'I know your dad loved you so much and spoke so well of you so often' '  

    Yet he never openly said those things to me. I was lucky to get more than 3 minutes phone conversation before being passed over to talk to my stepmum. My brother felt the same.
    Our stepbrother has turned up and self appointed himself as 'head honcho' . He's what I call a 'glory seeker'. Someone who craves adulation, but not the hard graft that sometimes has to go with it. My brother called him the  'golden boy'.

    My stepmum's rich cousin treated everyone to a steak  dinner. The seating ,as described by my brother, spoke volumes as to the new pecking order. I was expecting it but gradually, not this fast.  To quote my brother -

    It was decided Joel would take us all out to Dinner last night Dan sat at the head of the table with Joel and Myrna her brother and sister in law we ended up seated at the very end of the table and just left out no one said how are you or we’re so sorry about your dad .
    Technical aside- the quoting tool for this forum is absolute crap. Needs fixing.

    Added to that is my brother and I  not knowing till very late on how things were with our father.  Our stepmother  could and should have told us.

    My brother and I are both hurt and somewhat annoyed that he was privy to our father's financial situation, and we weren't . It seems we weren't deemed good enough to be told. As I said, mixed and contradictory emotions.


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