Things my mind tells me constantly
1. “I am 32 and I can’t even get a coffee date. That is pathetic.”
2. “I can’t even get a date through a dating site or app while every other guy can. That is proof I can’t succeed.”
3. “I didn’t date in high school. I can’t develop any dating skills because of that.”
4. “I missed out on the psychosocial moratorium because I was socially isolated and wasn’t allowed to experiment. This means I am doomed to never learn new social skills.”
5. “My brain stopped developing when I was 25 and I was still socially isolated. My brain can’t make new neural connections thus it can’t undergo neural plasticity.”
6. “Unless I drink or smoke, I can’t have a social life.”
7. “No one wants to make new friends these days because they already have enough and don’t want to make any new ones.”
8. “Why do others tell me not to kill myself but on the same token they don’t want me to have a girlfriend which is the root cause of my depressed feelings?”
2. “I can’t even get a date through a dating site or app while every other guy can. That is proof I can’t succeed.”
3. “I didn’t date in high school. I can’t develop any dating skills because of that.”
4. “I missed out on the psychosocial moratorium because I was socially isolated and wasn’t allowed to experiment. This means I am doomed to never learn new social skills.”
5. “My brain stopped developing when I was 25 and I was still socially isolated. My brain can’t make new neural connections thus it can’t undergo neural plasticity.”
6. “Unless I drink or smoke, I can’t have a social life.”
7. “No one wants to make new friends these days because they already have enough and don’t want to make any new ones.”
8. “Why do others tell me not to kill myself but on the same token they don’t want me to have a girlfriend which is the root cause of my depressed feelings?”
Comments
There is medicine for that
There is a good video on youtube on that by "Anya Darlow" very disturbing video but you might want to check out.
10. “Every woman I find attractive in my area is either in a relationship or is married.”
11. “I might have to become a Christian again if I want a relationship even though growing up in the church didn’t get me one.”
12. “I don’t want to live past 35 the way my life is going. It’s been a nightmare since 2006 and it doesn’t feel right at all.”
The resisting change is learned and conditioned, this is a well understood pattern.
You have to first accept you are consciously resisting out of fear. Even your response here is an example of that.
But people will take it as you not wanting help. Though you will fluctuate between asking for help then effectively rejecting it, which will confuse those not experienced. Most folk here just aren't equipped or qualified to provide this coaching. It is more something you would do with somebody trained but it is very possible.
This is what CBT is good at. It would use the statement like you just made which is the cognitive (thoughts) side as look at the behavioural side. You have to try and reserve judgement.