Need some feedback on being obsessional

firemonkey

When I think of OCD, it's in a very stereotypical way-  x has to be done 5x to be OK,Excessive hand washing, checking and rechecking things etc.

In my case I become fixated on things. To the point I'm doing them again and again till something else replaces them. The current one is reaction time,especially standard deviation reaction time. I'll do such tests again and again and again. There's a small correlation with cognitive ability i.e the lower the standard deviation reaction time the more intelligent you supposedly are.

 My sense of self  is rather unstable due to bullying related trauma. I'm very much a  'If I  can solve this then anyone can'/ 'I can't solve this then I'm stupid' person.

verity

There is soemthign called Pure Obsessional or Pure O.

verity

Do you have other intrusive thoughts such as distressing thoughts not necessary related to you or your background?

verity

There is often a distinction made with OCD where the focus of the compulsions an obsession might be cause by trauma but the activity and the thought don't necessarily directly relate relate directly. In your case there is a kind of logic to it it sound like, that does relate to your experiences.

I would say so there is some overlap between autistic obsessional and OCD. I think researcher have long suspected a connection between ASD and OCD. Not necessarily being the a form of ASD, but having a neurological connection in brain activity.

I think the stereotype is that autistic obsession are always good and pleasing, when often we can struggle with our obsessions too.

Either way a CBT approach help might help, but adapted for ASD folk.

firemonkey

verity said:

Do you have other intrusive thoughts such as distressing thoughts not necessary related to you or your background?

Not that I can think of.

firemonkey

verity said:

There is soemthign called Pure Obsessional or Pure O.

That seems to be the best fit; but it's more like a quest I can never fulfil rather than distressing.

verity

firemonkey said:

verity said:

Do you have other intrusive thoughts such as distressing thoughts not necessary related to you or your background?

Not that I can think of.

This is one aspect of Pure O and OCD as I understand.

They can have terrible thoughts say of harming or receiving harm or impending doom, however it is not actually psychosis nor do they desire it. This drives the obsessions, compulsions in order to prevent it from happening.

So the is a disconnect between the thing the fear an the task they need to complete to negate it as there is no logical connection, yet they feel strongly this they have to do to negate those feeling.

What you describe has some connection to what you fear. Anxiety severs a purpose however the purpose can be over enforced to the point it make it harder to function.

verity

The similarity is the control element, wanting to regain control of yourself an you environment so you fear less.

Regarding ODC this is my limited understanding I suspect it is a bit broader than that.

What you describe is typical  of social anxiety and trauma in relation to bullying and developing patterns around that. I probably have more knowledge of thsi having experience this myself.

I also think we have to view this in the context of our own Autistic way of thinking.

Hylian

I have obsessions and compulsions. For me obsessions and compulsions are thoughts that I can't stop focusing on and don't always make entire logical sense, and the resulting actions that my brain urges me to take in response to those thoughts. Like, "I'm worried about a fire starting, I don't want my pets to get hurt in a fire. I can't stop thinking about ways they could get hurt if one happened and how it could start. If I do/don't do X then I think I will cause a fire and kill my pets, so I have to do Y to fix/prevent that. If I resist doing Y I don't know what will happen, so I have to do it so I don't kill my pets in a fire." There's usually a somewhat massive jump in logic (I'm scared of my pets being in a fire > I want to prevent fires > I will singlehandedly kill them in a fire if I don't engage in this specific behaviour), and if I resist the compulsions I get intense, increasing anxiety.

People also always mention "Pure O" aspects of OCD, but I also feel like there's  "Pure C" aspects that autistic/ADHD people seem to experience more often. I've had compulsions with no particular obsessions causing them for as long as I can remember. Having to do specific things a specific way for a specific number of times until it "feels right" (like touching a doorknob 4 times, and repeating that until my brain is actually satisfied with it), having the compulsion to engage in motor and vocal tics, etc. There's nothing I think about that causes these, but my brain still makes me experience the same anxiety if I resist doing them and don't do them "right".

verity

/\

You make a very good point about Pure C and ASD. There are a lot of overlapping condition you could say that Tourettes is like Pure C, except the ticks are involuntary and typically without delay. Though you don;t need to have Tourettes to have ticks.