I don't think I fit into ASD based forums.

firemonkey

It's as though I'm out of sync; not really belonging.

verity

Self doubt does that.

This is a forum for people who don't fit the mould. Given we all have our social difficulties I would not draw inference as to what fitting in means here.

If one member feels that the response from others  doesn't meet their expectations they should be aware all members could have this mindset and we could be in stalemate. We are all in.the same boat.The challenging part is getting into a reciprocal mindset rather than a fitting in mindset. Otherwise take solice in the fact we are all coping with the expectations of fitting in.

Amity

Does reassurance to the contrary change this perception for you?

Im not sure that it does, it wouldn't change it for me...

What was it like when you first encountered the autism community as a newly aware Autistic person...

Did it feel welcoming and inclusive?

For me it was as odd as hell and I couldnt make any sense of the communication styles.

How has fitting in been a feature of your life and where does/did that expectation come from?

For me it has been since childhood, huge expectations from the adults in my life to be a model child. Not acceptance for me as I was.

How might it feel for others when they dont get a NT style response and instead a typical autistic response?

For me initially, I felt as you do now, even more isolated than before.

Consider your expectations of other autistics though... I realised that I expected NT responses from Autistics... If I was seeking the feeling of acceptance, I needed to accept them as they are and by default myself first...

This to me is the meaningful reciprocal aspect.

Some questions that are for you, not questions that i am asking you to reply to.

firemonkey

It's things like 'burn out' & sensory symptoms that make me question things. For example things like food textures don't bother me ,apart from bananas. Love the flavour, but don't like the mouth feel of a banana. I don't have the intense reaction to visual and other stimuli that many others have.


I'd always believed I had a low pain threshold, but I was doing physical therapy after my second fall, before an x ray revealed,7 weeks later, I had a fractured hip/femur. The paramedics and GP etc had thought the pain was psychological. Had a partial hip replacement 2 days later. Not sure whether being hypo/hyper-reactive to pain is autism related.

Hylian

I feel the same way online in general. I don't know much about politics, pop culture, etc. so I can't talk about a lot of the things that people want to talk about, and I noticed that my replies often get ignored. I've been trying to just chill in the background online lately because it's a lot less frustrating. lol

Hylian

firemonkey said:

It's things like 'burn out' & sensory symptoms that make me question things. For example things like food textures don't bother me ,apart from bananas. Love the flavour, but don't like the mouth feel of a banana. I don't have the intense reaction to visual and other stimuli that many others have.


I'd always believed I had a low pain threshold, but I was doing physical therapy after my second fall, before an x ray revealed,7 weeks later, I had a fractured hip/femur. The paramedics and GP etc had thought the pain was psychological. Had a partial hip replacement 2 days later. Not sure whether being hypo/hyper-reactive to pain is autism related.

I've noticed that there's a lot of autistic people who don't have many sensory issues, or that are more hyposensitive than hypersensitive. I used to be more hypersensitive as a child, but now I don't have as many sensory issues that negatively impact my life.

Statest16

I have often felt this way and these forums can be difficult I think because you so many different perspectives at the table.
The nightmare of Wrong Planet was a classic example.

You have very successful high functioning people; and then you have two types of lower functioning people.
A.More severely autistic people with greater speech and abstract concept formation issues.
2.Less severe autistic people with a lot of more severe mental health co-morbid's conditions.
And this second catagory is where you see the most PTSD issues from being bullied or abused as children or possible as adults.

Sadly these autism forums seem to breed more division between people than they resolve and this is why I left WP for permanent and will never go back.

This forum seems ok for the most part I just wish there were more discussions and chat.Autismforums seems about the same although I most more often here,AF has a lot more personal life discussions but no news or politics but AF does a stellar job of protecting it's members I rarely post there because of lack of news and politics.

I would hope Firemonkey you stay here and improve and foster this website by posting more because this site has lost so many people who used to post often.If more people defected from WP and came here full time this site could be built up.I would hate for this site to shut down and be stuck with AF which is frankly boring

verity

I agree statest though I would say  is something that affects the whole spectrum and those those communication, motor issues are targeted. Only if they are sheltered from it would they hope to avoid it, but that comes with limited freedom.


We are open to feedback on how to improve the experience and content. 

verity

The exact nature of sensory issues or lack of them is individual. This is a very recent edition to diagnostic criteria and not a required trait.


What is striking is less how simular we are but our differences. That uniqueness should be a uniting factor.

Statest16

verity said:

We are open to feedback on how to improve the experience and content. 

I would say attract more members for more conversation,otherwise no real complaints.

Statest16

verity said:

 That uniqueness should be a uniting factor.

I only wish that was true but the world of autism has been rife with in-fighting since I can remember.

Statest16

I actually have a good friend from Vermont that does professional websites.I could give you his email if you like and he could tweek your site and maybe improve search results

firemonkey

Statest16 said:

I have often felt this way and these forums can be difficult I think because you so many different perspectives at the table.
The nightmare of Wrong Planet was a classic example.

You have very successful high functioning people; and then you have two types of lower functioning people.
A.More severely autistic people with greater speech and abstract concept formation issues.
2.Less severe autistic people with a lot of more severe mental health co-morbid's conditions.
And this second catagory is where you see the most PTSD issues from being bullied or abused as children or possible as adults.

Sadly these autism forums seem to breed more division between people than they resolve and this is why I left WP for permanent and will never go back.

This forum seems ok for the most part I just wish there were more discussions and chat.Autismforums seems about the same although I most more often here,AF has a lot more personal life discussions but no news or politics but AF does a stellar job of protecting it's members I rarely post there because of lack of news and politics.

I would hope Firemonkey you stay here and improve and foster this website by posting more because this site has lost so many people who used to post often.If more people defected from WP and came here full time this site could be built up.I would hate for this site to shut down and be stuck with AF which is frankly boring

I fit the second type,more than the first one, in that I was diagnosed with a severe mental illness in 1975, and didn't get the Asperger's dx till 2019. I was bullied at the British public school I went to. Nearly 50 years later I can still remember the monkey chants directed at me while waiting for a class to start.

Statest16

^^^
I would too

firemonkey

Statest16 said:

verity said:

 That uniqueness should be a uniting factor.

I only wish that was true but the world of autism has been rife with in-fighting since I can remember.

The most heated fights seem to have been between those 'high functioning' types  who see autism as a gift , and the parents of severely autistic children.

Statest16

firemonkey said:

Statest16 said:

verity said:

 That uniqueness should be a uniting factor.

I only wish that was true but the world of autism has been rife with in-fighting since I can remember.

The most heated fights seem to have been between those 'high functioning' types  who see autism as a gift , and the parents of severely autistic children.

Yea I saw that a lot about ten years ago,but likely still today

firemonkey

I get really annoyed with WP sometimes.Quite a while back I mentioned lack of responses and was told I made statements that didn't indicate a reply was needed. Fair enough. I made an effort  to remedy that by indicating  that 'thoughts are welcomed' or something similar. It didn't improve things very much. That very clearly told me the reason given re lack of responses was a festering pile of BS.

firemonkey

Just had someone mock me at WP for making a typing error. I thoroughly detest people who do that. Very tempted to leave WP. Just wish this place was more active.

Amity

I dont think the person will mess with you again Firemonkey, your response was quite clear!

Maybe become a member of many autistic spaces!

I believe potential younger members are more attracted to social media set ups and instant participation.

The double edged sword is that the stepped approach here has stopped trolls and spammers from wrecking havoc, but is just as off-putting for anyone seaking that instant participation.

It seems to me to take something seismic to move the slightly older generations from the comfortable knowns of a familiar forum.

Well that was my experience anyway.

Neurovoice.org is designed to operate on a community basis, Verity and I pay for it to keep it ad free and for now that is sustainable, but we committed to this forum on the premise that the community would help run the site, we always said that we needed help and still do.

Just by being here, members are helping, other ways can be to promote Neurovoice.org on other platforms, perhaps by adding it to your signature.

Ive opened a twitter account with it as my signature and in time I hope to raise the profile that way.

Hylian

firemonkey said:

Just had someone mock me at WP for making a typing error. I thoroughly detest people who do that. Very tempted to leave WP. Just wish this place was more active.

That guy is allowed to act like a complete ass, for some reason. I don't get why. Most of his responses are mocking and off topic.

Hylian

I check NV a lot, though I don't really have a lot of things I'd like to post, nor am I good at figuring out how to respond to other posts lately.

I do hope that NV can attract people of varying ages, since it can be sorta odd to mainly interact w/ people that are often much older than me, and I'm sure other people my age might feel similarly when they use ASD-related forums.

Statest16

I'd leave Wrong Planet but that's just me

Amity

@Hylian and everyone else

Why did you choose forums over established/popular social media?

I would love to see this be a space for a diverse community

firemonkey

I use both. I've been using forums since first getting online in 1996. Started using FB in 2009. Twitter in 2013.  I've tried alternatives to FB, but it's not been a good experience.

Hylian

I like that forums are more discussion oriented, than based around people just interacting with short posts (like Twitter). Established social media also has a lot of NT people and unavoidable politics discussions, though the latter is an issue on some forums anyways.

firemonkey

I  make a good amount of political tweets on Twitter. Also mental health/illness. Autistic Twitter isn't my cup of tea. Too many 'I got a 1st class degree while having the worst autistic symptoms you could ever imagine' types for my liking.