Does anyone else fantasize about being alone sometimes?

HylianHylian Citizen, Mentor
I often feel like keeping up relationships with other people is too much work, and that I'd be fine with being almost entirely alone as long as I was able to indulge in my special interests. Beyond internet forums I find interacting with other people exhausting and I can't handle the drama they bring with them.

I also do not mean "being alone" as in taking an occasional break from people, I often fantasize about being alone for a very extended period of time and having to only really consistently interact with my pets. Lately I've been thinking about this again.

I don't know if the trauma I have and the type of people I have to deal with IRL influences this, but since I was a kid I've imagined being able to do this and how much more fulfilling I'd find it. Anyone I've mentioned this to has intensely disapproved of this though and criticized me for desiring that.

Comments

  • BenderBender Citizen
    There's nothing wrong with it if that's what you're asking. You also don't have to make any definitive decisions, and btw other people have no business telling you how to live your life. 

    I was sure I'll never get married - I couldn't even live in the same house with someone else except for a few days in a row. I knew the odds of actually meeting someone who doesn't make me feel this way were very, very slim and I was OK with it.

    Know what makes you happy and live your life. People will disapprove, harp and some even try to convince you or coerce you to live the "right" way - meaning their way. Ignore them and never allow such things to make you doubt yourself. One of the most efficient ways of being incredibly miserable is to try to live the way others think you should or in a way that pleases others. 
  • AmityAmity Administrator, Citizen
    edited June 15
    Aye I need breaks from being around high maintenance people (not typical meaning, literal meaning from an autistic energy pov).

    I quite enjoyed living on my own, it was so predictable and peaceful.

    Everything always as I decided it would be, my kingdom of one.

    These days I take alone time regularly, sometimes up to four or five times in a day, depends on how much i need to recharge orvget a break from being overstimulated.

    Verity takes daily alone time too, so that mutual understanding helps both of us to share a space
  • I dream all the time about being alone. How peaceful it is. How I can hear myself think. How I am not wondering what the other person is thinking of me. I just want to live my life in a cabin in the woods and not every have to see anybody. 
    I do live in a cabin in the woods now. I have a husband and I love him very much, but I also want him gone, out of the house, away on vacation, whatever. Luckily for me, he is also someone who doesn't need a lot of interaction and can do things on his own. 
    I thought it was a bad thing. He told me he understands and accepts that. Amazing. 
  • HylianHylian Citizen, Mentor
    I've thought about being able to live in a cabin in the woods before. The idea of being surrounded by nature and not having other people around sounds wonderful and very freeing.

    I also spend a lot of my time alone. People act like I am asocial (I guess I kind of am?) and that it's unhealthy, but I am not massively distressed by it. I honestly can have my social needs fulfilled just by interacting with my pets or talking to someone for only a few minutes, and after my needs are fulfilled I'm fine doing my own thing for quite awhile.

    I also am glad to hear that I'm not the only one that feels like this. I get that most other people aren't autistic and won't "get" why I often desire to be alone, so I try to not let their disapproval get to me, though it is hard to not feel like I am somehow defective or something when people act like my desire to be alone is unhealthy and needs to be "fixed". I honestly expected negative reactions to this post and to be told that feeling like this is odd (I dunno why since everyone here is nice, I guess I'm just used to that reaction lmao).
  • Teach51Teach51 Citizen
    I am alone by choice most of the time, I get grumpy when I have to leave my solitude though I enjoy being with certain people when I make the effort. I was not like this in my youth but the accumulation of trauma added to my CPTSD has rendered me anti-social. I am very open and lively as a personality which is a bit of a paradox I suppose. I am almost always agoraphobic which is a result of recent trauma, it takes a lot of mental preparation for me to go out the door and meet people and preferably one at a time.
  • HylianHylian Citizen, Mentor
    Teach51 said:
    I am alone by choice most of the time, I get grumpy when I have to leave my solitude though I enjoy being with certain people when I make the effort. I was not like this in my youth but the accumulation of trauma added to my CPTSD has rendered me anti-social. I am very open and lively as a personality which is a bit of a paradox I suppose. I am almost always agoraphobic which is a result of recent trauma, it takes a lot of mental preparation for me to go out the door and meet people and preferably one at a time.
    I think past trauma has definitely influenced this for me, but I was like this as a kid, too. Maybe to a lesser degree.

    I also get really frustrated when people interrupt my solitude, even when people have an actual reason to do that. My brain just doesn't like it. lol
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