We were regarded as 'mediocre'

I was the odd boy/teenager,the socially rejected boy/teenager, the 'not particularly intelligent' boy,the 'mediocre' pupil. There was nothing like #2e back then. The #ASD dx came much later.I think there must be several more from my generation who were the same. Some got over the bullying &social rejection,some of us haven't.Neither our strengths or weaknesses were recognised by the education system. We were seen as merely mediocre.



  • AmityAmity Administrator, Citizen
    My early school experiences were deeply unpleasant and the incentive to fit in with what the teacher wanted was high. Im not sure how well I would have scored, probably average but classed with a need to be motivated.

    Middle school age was much the same, less physical and more psychological incentives plus the bullying.

    Late school experiences were less teacher controlled but had increased social pressure, an area that took an extraordinary amount of energy for basic success within a group of very kind people.
    It was a kindness I needed and although it didnt last, it left lasting memories.

    I was always academically average, excellent in some areas and  below average in others.

    My math related difficulties were largely treated as laziness until I reached the later stages of secondary education and was placed with others of a similar ability level.
    At which point I realised I was normal among this peer group.

    By my late secondary education I had stopped caring about teacher expectations and external expectations in general, bar my peers to a degree.

    In uni I struggled terribly, but again if it werent for the kindness of others I wouldnt have made it through.
    The incentive to succeed was high as returning home was not an option and I was using my savings from my part time jobs to put myself through.
    I had my first autistic burn out then, first time to need therapy and medication for anxiety to function.

    I dont think my actual ability has ever been recognised, bar by myself and perhaps Verity I should add.
  • Statest16Statest16 Citizen, Mentor


    I don't understand the teacher

    100 is average
    120 is high
    132 is Mensa
    140 is Genius
    Anything 150 plus is insane intellegence
  • firemonkeyfiremonkey Citizen
    @Amity @Statest16 Thank you for your comments.  I never went to university. I was first hospitalised at the start of what should've been the term I did A levels. The relentless anxiety over how I'd cope at university, not academically but with the independent living/non academic side of things, was a major factor  in my developing serious mental health problems. There weren't the support systems that there are now.
  • BenderBender Citizen
    I've never been considered "well-rounded" academically. I was seen either as brilliant or an idiot.

    I definitely understand where Amity is coming from - the school environment in itself was like poison for me and it both distracted me and sapped my resources. It was actually a bit better at Uni, due to being in a more narrow field with mostly fellow introverts.
  • HylianHylian Citizen, Mentor
    I was mainly treated like I wasn't worth anyone's time during school, sans being in special ed. classes. My issues with ASD, ADHD, and learning mathematics made it seem like I was just misbehaved and underachieving, especially since I am female and barely had a chance of having my issues recognized as actual developmental/neurological issues. Teachers completely ignored me during class, and often picked on me, or encouraged other kids to do so, when I tried to do coursework and I didn't meet their expectations.

    I think being treated like that is part of the reason that I still struggle to do academic work. I now just feel like I am not going to be able to complete or understand it, and that it's not worth investing energy in it because I'll just waste my time and look stupid afterwards.
  • firemonkeyfiremonkey Citizen
    My parents were the complete opposite  to those who berate their son or daughter for not coming 1st in every subject. There was no response when my academic performance started to drop at a little short of 9.5 years old. Even when things were falling apart for me mentally, as I was studying for A levels, my father was talking about what he'd do if I got to Cambridge or Oxford.
  • Teach51Teach51 Citizen
    Was this denial or a genuine belief that you were suitable because it was expected in your social circle?
  • firemonkeyfiremonkey Citizen
    Good question. When my father was working in the UK there wasn't much of a social circle. At cocktail and dinner parties  while working abroad the subject might have been discussed. 
    According to my father

    - Incidentally, your intelligence  tests as a child tended to come out around the 150 level.
    I did mean pre-teeanger. I cannot remember exactly when but  I think Mima and I used some test  system in San Francisco
    I probably performed about 2SD below that level.  There might have been a little 'Keeping up with the Joneses by proxy' going on . My father's colleagues tended to be from well established middle class backgrounds. Whereas my father's background was nearer to lower middle class. I can imagine those colleagues having high expectations for their children.

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