I feel persecuted all the time

I feel like I am wished ill will and suffering by others all the time. People glare at me every day, I am mocked for my voice as well as my receding hairline, I never fit in with group events, I am targeted by aggressive people for my money or my car, and I fear that people who either have walked out of my life or I’ve had conflicts with no longer wish me well even if they stated supportive things before. 

I sometimes wish I was never born if I was going to be bullied and rejected by others. It makes me want to Jill myself sometimes because I fear I will just continue living a lonely and unhappy existence because nothing ever seems to change for me. 😥


  • It’s been suggested to me that I have a persecution complex and that is why I feel others wish me ill will. I was bullied a lot in my developmental years, others were constantly telling me “No!” in regards to what I wanted, and being kind wasn’t always appreciated. It makes me feel like I have to protect myself and constantly be on my guard. I really wish the world didn’t feel so harsh and unwelcoming to me. 
  • I honestly can’t handle being disliked. It’s painful and makes me question if even those who like me are wrong to do so. The people in the flesh who dislike me don’t like my voice, my difficulties at work, and the fact I have two doctors for parents. The people online who dislike me don’t want me to have a girlfriend and wish I would suffer until I give up or die. I am not perfect but I don’t think I should be disliked by so many. I’ve been bullied and rejected so I feel like my emotions are valid. 
  • verityverity Administrator, Citizen
    edited May 2021
    Markness you are opening a lot of very similar topics in quick succession, you have touched on these questions and proclamations in muliple thread, you don't need all these threads to have a discussion on these issues, and for people to respond if they wish. Please try to reduce the number of similar topics.

    Can you consider the effect this has on others, it means that other people topics get flooded out, and this is bound to cause frustration with members.

    Folk and not going to have answer to all of this, and also there is a reason why I would not encourage some of these and that becuase your fixation on these ideas is preventing you from moving forward. I have answered then things I think will help and are helping, and that is the best I can do.

    The overall message this give by doing this is your needs are more important than other people's needs, and this will not win people over. This is not becuase you think like that, but becuase you are not thinking about it in the first place. If you want a relationship you must understand this, the people will not reward you if you do not consider them and their needs. All social interaction has a transactional aspect to it and this is not one way, you aren't engaging in the same way other are engaging with you and this is unbalanced and not sustainable.

    Your outlook an perception of what you think people think of you is way off, you drawing your own conclusions based on anecdotal evidence, when actually you are putting people between a rock and hard place, where they can't provide and answer you will be satisfied with. People will get frustrated if you give them reason to though, such as expecting more without giving and resenting them for not giving you the answer you want.

    You have a lot of resentment towards people, and I don't think much of it is justified, especially as people have gone out of their way to answer you and give frankly a lot more attention than others. Saying that all these people hate it is a stretch becuase most people are just trying to get on with their lives they are not spending time think about hating you. Resentment will just alienate people, it is an ugly emotion.
  • verityverity Administrator, Citizen
    edited May 2021
    I think you do feel this.

    I think that this is not a nice experience for you and I'm not going trivialise it. I'm just telling you it is not realistic for all of this to be happening on this scale. People do not spend that amount of time considering thing like that of other people becuase they have they own baggage. I don't doubt you feel like that, but unfortunately this is leading to resentment, which will only alienate people.

    I do think it woudl be worth getting a professional opinion about it. Statest has also suggested looking into a number to possibilities and asking about medication. I don't wan to pre-judge as we are not professionals, but anyone compassionate person would want for you to overcome this. 
  • edited May 2021
    Highly inappropriate to single out members in this way.
    I would feel fine if I was told by you, Amity, and Hylian individually you still wish me well in regards to getting a relationship. I wouldn’t feel hatred coming from you anymore. I wouldn’t ask anymore.
  • BenderBender Citizen
    Markness said:
    I would feel fine if I was told by you, Amity, and Hylian individually you still wish me well in regards to getting a relationship. I wouldn’t feel hatred coming from you anymore. I wouldn’t ask anymore.
    Mark, please remember that other people have lives, personal problems, and feelings too: you cannot accuse people of hating you because they don't say the words you want to hear the moment you want to hear them.

    Both Hylian and Amity offered you support and encouragement here and elsewhere many times over the years and repeatedly said they wish you well and happiness 😑
  • Statest16Statest16 Citizen, Mentor
    DM me if you want to talk like I have said.
    You can't make the same posts over and over again,it's starting to be like spam
  • verityverity Administrator, Citizen
    edited May 2021
    @Markness ; we have told muliple time you should not be placing the onus on specific member to continuously re-affirm their like of you.

    You are behaving  selfishly at the moment, you have absolutely no idea idea what others may be going through at the moment, they are not your personal servants.

    There is absolutely no reason to single out those two users.Your obsession with certain member is concerning.

    We are considering what action to take further as you already under sanction.
  • Is there any way I can have a clean slate and start over? I really don’t want to have conflicts with others. 
  • Statest16Statest16 Citizen, Mentor
    I think your ok,if there was a problem the admin's would let you know
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