What's on your mind right now?

The thread to say whatever is stuck on your mind at the moment. Doesn't matter whether it's a positive, neutral, or negative thought.

Currently my brain is preoccupied with cringing at my older posts on other websites. Seeing the changes in my posting style is weird.

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Comments

  • I'm thinking about going to my mother's radiation appointments every day in November. Picking her up, getting her in the car, parking at the hospital ($$), Covid screenings inside, waiting rooms with noise which are full of people with no immunity, and dealing with her anxiety when her hair starts to fall out. The radiation is on her head and she is going to lose a fair amount of hair. This is traumatic for her, maybe more so than the cancer. Then having to drive her home and settle her, and cheer her up. Lather, rinse, and repeat 30 days in a row. I don't know if I'll be able to manage without any time or days to myself. Then I feel guilty about feeling this way.

  • AmityAmity Administrator, Citizen

    That is a lot to deal with Isy, if you started a thread about it we could brainstorm options for you, like days where you sit in the car instead of the waiting room.

  • AmityAmity Administrator, Citizen

    Why does my new boss want to meet me tomorrow, its driving me nuts... He couldn't speak with me directly when I needed to speak with him a month ago, but now he does, what part of my email triggered this.... 🤦‍♀️

  • Save_FerrisSave_Ferris Citizen, Member

    @Isabella said:
    I don't know if I'll be able to manage without any time or days to myself. Then I feel guilty about feeling this way.

    Do you have noise cancelling headphones , they really do take the edge off things , or a music playing device ( not a gramophone ) . For me, music turns the world into a silent movie with my own personal soundtrack.

  • HylianHylian Citizen, Mentor

    @Isabella said:
    I'm thinking about going to my mother's radiation appointments every day in November. Picking her up, getting her in the car, parking at the hospital ($$), Covid screenings inside, waiting rooms with noise which are full of people with no immunity, and dealing with her anxiety when her hair starts to fall out. The radiation is on her head and she is going to lose a fair amount of hair. This is traumatic for her, maybe more so than the cancer. Then having to drive her home and settle her, and cheer her up. Lather, rinse, and repeat 30 days in a row. I don't know if I'll be able to manage without any time or days to myself. Then I feel guilty about feeling this way.

    Are you with her while she's getting the treatment? If not and it takes awhile, maybe you could take a bit of a break and do something by yourself, or like Amity said at least relax in your car instead of having to stay inside waiting.

  • IsabellaIsabella Citizen
    edited October 2020

    Thanks for the support everyone. She's almost 82 and gets confused easily, so she likes me to go in all appointments with her as an extra set of ears. She has no use of her arms so her balance isn't good. I would definitely need to get her into the clinic with assistance but I'm sure they don't let me in the actual procedure room. The radiation only takes about 15 minutes but they said the entire time frame from arrival to registration - to changing clothes - to consultation - to positioning - to zapping - to dressing - to leaving - supposedly takes about an hour. I'd love to wait in the car but I think I'll only get 15 minutes to myself.

    The other issue is that this is the same radiation department at the same hospital that treated my father worse than a dog when he was dying of cancer. It's a major PTSD trigger for me just going there. I've boycotted the hospital and specifically that department for years because of flashbacks. We have no choice but to go there because they specialise in what she needs.

    The hardest part is that she and I have a strained relationship and I'm mute like a stone when I'm with her. I operate on autopilot and shut down emotionally, making me more prone to sensory overwhelm too. It's a bad Catch 22.

    Anyway -- thank you all. I do love her and it's just really hard for me to process this journey. I'm used to having time to myself 24/7 and the worst is that my daughter is severely immunocompromised in her own treatment. I'm very worried about all this exposure to public buildings.

    Thanks again. There aren't really any solutions. It's just something I'll have to work through as it comes.

  • @Amity said:
    Why does my new boss want to meet me tomorrow, its driving me nuts... He couldn't speak with me directly when I needed to speak with him a month ago, but now he does, what part of my email triggered this.... 🤦‍♀️

    I hope it goes well Amity. I'm assuming it's some sort of promotion for you!

  • HylianHylian Citizen, Mentor
    edited October 2020

    I hope the department treats your mother properly and that you can get a bit of time to yourself, Isabella.

  • WulfniteWulfnite Citizen
    edited October 2020

    Dinner. I'm hungry.

    Also thinking about going to the doctor to get a flu shot and getting him to give me more emergency panic pills since I am down to three.

  • Ditto
    I might need a flu shot this year for the sake of my family, and I think I'll need some benzos to get through the next six weeks.

  • IsabellaIsabella Citizen
    edited October 2020

    Seven months and 13 days after the Great Flood of 2020 (March 1st and 2nd), my house repairs are finally, blessedly, and completely finished. I spent most of that time with no walls, floors, or electrical. Back in March at the start of Covid, I had nearly two weeks with no heat, no water, no washer / dryer, and no power. Then the tradesmen stopped working because of lockdown. It's been a slice but it's finally all fixed (except for my driveway that they don't repair).

    I think Wolfram will need to raise a toast.

  • Save_FerrisSave_Ferris Citizen, Member
    edited October 2020

    Going on a social vist today so I had a relatively early night 2.am , woke up at 4 and haven't been able to get back to sleep , I'm going to be frazzled today.

    Gonna try and pinch a few hours now - wish me luck 🧟‍♂️

  • LUCK!! ❤

    Baron Trump has Covid 😕

  • Annoying back pain for about three weeks now. Most likely a pulled muscle. I get a bolt of pain when I move certain ways. On my right side. The focal point seems to be a below my shoulder blade. I'm guessing looking at anotomy charts it is my Latissimus dorsi muscle. I read a pulled muscle can take 4 to 6 weeks to resolve.

    Still constant discomfort like this over a period of three weeks starts to get a little worrisome. But I will be seeing my doctor anyways for a flu shot and a prescription.

  • WulfniteWulfnite Citizen
    edited October 2020

    A former neighbor from where I grew up died of Covid-19. It's haunting because his last post on Facebook book was that he was going to be tested for covid and was feeling nervous. He was around 56. The thing is though looking through his timeline he was a in really poor health had breathing problems (had several photos of him with one of those nose oxygen tubes going back a couple of years or more) and said he had been intubated back in 2018, had pneumonia etc and was obese. But still kind of chilling/haunting.

  • IsabellaIsabella Citizen
    edited October 2020

    😢

    That's very sad, Wulfnite. My condolences. Did he have family?

    On my mind: This is one of my only free days in the next six weeks. It's raining and I'm going to read.
    I'm in heaven. Three guesses what the book is. ⛈

  • @Isabella said:

    I think Wolfram will need to raise a toast.

    🍞🍻 ✨🎆🧨🍰

  • WulfniteWulfnite Citizen
    edited October 2020

    I don't know what his family situation was. No children far as I know. I just happened to look him up the other day. Looks like he passed away around mid July. It was just a little unsettling someone I once knew last post was, "Being tested for the virus within the next 30 minutes. Quite nervous". Poor guy.

  • Jeez. 😕 That's more than a little unsettling. It's awful.

  • Getting a flu shot tomorrow. I'm scared they're going to inject nanobots in me and also give me autism.

  • Ask for the high functioning autism type just to be safe. Or maybe they have a special on Aspergers?

  • WolframWolfram Citizen
    edited October 2020

    @Wulfnite said:
    Getting a flu shot tomorrow. I'm scared they're going to inject nanobots in me and also give me autism.

    insert "nanomachines,son!" meme here

  • HylianHylian Citizen, Mentor

    @Wulfnite said:
    Getting a flu shot tomorrow. I'm scared they're going to inject nanobots in me and also give me autism.

    Don't forget the mind control serum. Praying 4 u. 😓

  • It's a well-known fact that prayers can counter them evil vaccines.

  • I'm watching something that totally looks like a UFO. Redish light moving around the sky strangly. It finally went up into the clouds and disappeared. Perhaps a drone. Perhaps not.

  • All points bulletin: If we don't hear from Wulfnite shortly, it's probable he's been abducted.

  • On my mind:

    A busy day with OT, GP, and Trauma Psych. I'll check in later tonight.

  • @Isabella said:
    On my mind:

    A busy day with OT, GP, and Trauma Psych. I'll check in later tonight.

    cheers you on i wish for a stress free day as much as it is possible!

    Me, right now i have a headache from not eating anything since breakfast but stopping daydreaming and getting off the computer is too much work.

  • Oh the joy when one's mother decides to tag along to a pap smear so she can get a flu shot!!

    😨

  • @Isabella said:
    All points bulletin: If we don't hear from Wulfnite shortly, it's probable he's been abducted.

    I'm here. But I have no memory of the last few hours.

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