Social ability-we're not all the same

firemonkeyfiremonkey Citizen
edited March 4 in General ASD
Not by a long chalk. Some are much more adept at connecting with others.

Twitter
A middle aged late diagnosed female: 9553 followers
Me:A late middle aged late diagnosed male: 177 followers

I have 1.85% of the followers she has.  Even within a community of autistic people I fall way below the average when it comes to connecting with others. Perhaps it's due to the negative double whammy of ASD +severe mental illness(mostly schizophrenia spectrum dxes). Even if I wanted to be more socially connected,on more than just an intermittent basis, I'm on a  hiding to nothing. It's therefore not worth the effort.

A woman who joined in March. 363  followers. Already more than twice as many as me. She's accepted far more by the autistic community.

Comments

  • verityverity Administrator, Citizen
    While I don't disagree I don't think Twitter is a good metric  There are many aspect of being good a Twitter that translate poorly to real-life situation. Or it can  can just be and extension of other networking.

    The question is what are people gaining in exchanges and what content is she providing to them? Not all content creator are providing a two way exchange and not all interest have the same size audience. Would you even consider yourself one. It is really a full time thing and high risk.

    What is comparable between you an her besides being on the spectrum? Do you know how much time she invests in social media.

    I would not loose sleep over twitter followers.
  • AmityAmity Administrator, Citizen
    I truly would like to have in person friends in my life, I just dont have the social energy required to mantain typical friendships.

    I understand the expectations in a friendship, but unfortunately I struggle terribly to meet them in a typically meaningful way.

  • TemTem Citizen
    The best friendships and ones worth keeping are the easy ones. 

    I don't care to work too hard at this and my friends are quality rather than quantity.
  • verity said:

    What is comparable between you an her besides being on the spectrum? Do you know how much time she invests in social media.

    I would not loose sleep over twitter followers.
    The 1st one  is very much of the 'Let me show you how autistic I am' school . Her tweets really show that.The kind that  goes from 'Just diagnosed' to positioning herself as ' a learned elder/expert of the autism community' in a very short space of time. 

    I don't have that brash self  confidence. I  will never see myself as an 'expert'. I'm not the kind to make friends easily , be they offline or online.

    I do have stepfamily,near me, who think a lot of me as I do them . I think part of it with me is very much a case of 'very high verbal skills are not automatically matched by good social communication . Also I think there's some truth to  very intelligent people tending to have less friends.

  • BenderBender Citizen
    I agree with you, it varies a lot. I've been astonished in online environments by some autistic people's social skills, but it's also a matter of perception in a way.

    Social media is a whole different animal, and having a ton of followers on Twitter can have a variety of reasons. Being "popular" is absolutely no proof of being adept at connecting with others: some people are good at attracting attention, being crowd-pleasers or simply being manipulative.
  • I’ll never get 177 followers on Twitter in a lifetime.....
  • Mona_PerethMona_Pereth Citizen
    edited April 4

    A woman who joined in March. 363  followers. Already more than twice as many as me. She's accepted far more by the autistic community.

    My guess is that she already had a lot of friends/acquaintances in the autistic community before she joined Twitter, and that she has some kind of public role in the autistic community and is not just a random autistic person posting on Twitter.

  • Mona_PerethMona_Pereth Citizen
    edited April 4
    The 1st one  is very much of the 'Let me show you how autistic I am' school . Her tweets really show that.The kind that  goes from 'Just diagnosed' to positioning herself as ' a learned elder/expert of the autism community' in a very short space of time. 

    I don't have that brash self  confidence. I  will never see myself as an 'expert'. I'm not the kind to make friends easily , be they offline or online.

    People with this kind of "brash self-confidence" are likely people with the kinds of past experiences that position them as natural leaders.  For example, I have a long history of involvement in various oddball subcultures, often in minor leading roles, and I've been intermittently involved in various kinds of political activism, e.g. LGBTQ+ rights.

    I don't claim to be a "learned elder/expert of the autism community," but I do claim to know a fair bit about community-building and the benefits thereof, and I have a set of longterm visions that I am strongly committed to.

    I still have significant social impairments but I have found ways to work around them -- and not primarily by masking.

    I'm not on Twitter, though.  I'm considering getting a Twitter account, but I am leery of the mob mentality that Twitter is notorious for.
  • Butterfly88Butterfly88 New Member, Member
    Yes, we are all different but agree with @verity that Twitter isn't a good measure.  A good part of getting Twitter followers is a computer algorithm and has nothing to do with social skills.  
  • How is it a computer algorithm when you decide whether you want  to follow someone or not?
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