Autism parent post on insta

So I just saw this post and it jarred.

I wanted to comment but I wasn't sure what to say.

I get it but it stills seems pretty off.

I'm not losing sleep over it or anything but I just wondered what you guys think. Is it okay? Would you comment?


Comments

  • Statest16Statest16 Citizen, Mentor
    Some kids on the spectrum might be a handful to a sitter.
  • Statest16 said:
    Some kids on the spectrum might be a handful to a sitter.
    Yeah, I understood that.

    Maybe I'm being oversensitive.

    It kind of looks like the beginning of a horror film. Muahaha

    I thought it was a bit demonizing. Like, if you can't figure out how to clearly communicate your child's needs to a sitter, then you might be a shitty parent
  • HylianHylian Citizen, Mentor
    I perceived it as worrying about nonverbal children being abused by sitters and not being able to say anything about it. That's what nanny cams are for, though.
  • AmityAmity Administrator, Citizen
    To me it seems to be an attention grabbing advertisement for the websites shop, aimed obviously at parents of Autistic children, they are selling a handful of books by 2 authors and the blog seems to be largely written by one contributor.


  • MagnaMagna Citizen
    I don't find it offensive.  Even if the parent effectively communicated the needs of a non-verbal child, their fear could legitimately be in whether the sitter would be effectively in actually caring for a non-verbal child's needs as needed.

    It would be offensive if the meme said something like:

    You might be an autism parent if...you'd trade your autistic child for an NT version of them if it were possible.
  • verityverity Administrator, Citizen
    edited March 2
    I find it ambiguous.

    I try to give people the benefit of the doubt though.

    In reality there are many worries for a parents getting a babysitter for a child let alone an autistic child. In many cases it is not even an option. Depending on the child needs training may be needed. If something serious was to happen, child/social services would likely be involved.
  • IsabellaIsabella Citizen
    edited March 2
    I was always afraid to get a babysitter for my autistic child, not because she had difficult needs but because I'm also autistic and I want things done the right way.   Other than her nanny who was fully vetted, I never hired a babysitter.  Not once.  I'm a hyper-vigilant parent with PTSD and to be honest I'd be just as cautious paying someone to look after my pets.   Actually, I won't even let people look after my pets ... 

    It's hard for me to remember that the term "autism parent" doesn't mean "an autistic person who is a parent", or "an autistic person who is a parent of another autistic person".   The term "autism parent" is very odd to me because no one parents autism.  We parent autistic people. 

    Semantics aside, the post would have caught my eye and I would have thought about it just like you did.   
  • BenderBender Citizen
    edited March 3
    Isabella said:

    It's hard for me to remember that the term "autism parent" doesn't mean "an autistic person who is a parent", or "an autistic person who is a parent of another autistic person".   The term "autism parent" is very odd to me because no one parents autism.  We parent autistic people. 

    Semantics aside, the post would have caught my eye and I would have thought about it just like you did.   

    I absolutely loathe the term, both for its lack of accuracy and what it seems to represent. Personally, I think semantics can be very important: language usually reflects culture and attitude pretty well.

  • It's so interesting to see everybody's different responses
  • verityverity Administrator, Citizen
    "Autism parent" is a dumb term but "appropriate" for the slightly inane instagram memes.
  • OliOli Citizen
    Getting a babysitter meant having to phone strangers and have conversations and explain household rules and procedures, and then trust them with your home and children.
    It's easier to look after them yourself or ask a relative in an absolute emergency.
  • IsabellaIsabella Citizen
    You should see the information binder I made for my nanny.  LOL.  It was obsessive, about 50 pages of detailed information, checklists, and procedures.   I also had her write me a summary every day so I knew how MD spent her day.   This was pre-computers so I wrote it all very carefully by hand, put every page in a sheet protector, and photocopied the checklists etc so there would be multiple.   I might still have it somewhere but I think I finally got rid of it recently.   

    The one time I asked family to watch her, they said no.   My very close friend died and I needed / wanted to go to the funeral.  I remember being very upset that my family said no.    MD was four years old.  I think I ended up getting her nanny to come on a day off. 

    It's such a huge responsibility to raise children properly and with consistency. 
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