A humorous video about imitating NT body language

Mona_PerethMona_Pereth Citizen
edited February 14 in General ASD
I recently came across the following humorous YouTube video by an autistic person, about imitating NT body language:

by Nathan Selove, Sep 4, 2019

Comments

  • AmityAmity Administrator, Citizen
    edited February 14
    Oh that's funny, I do this in my mind but its less humorous.

    I had a colleague who on occasion would have remnants of toothpaste around her mouth when she arrived in the morning.
    While she spoke to me I spent weeks debating with myself how or if I should tell her, and then had moments of oh no... Ive been starring at her mouth I wonder has she noticed, quick make eye contact, what was she saying; eyes drift back to white outline around her mouth..

    When another colleague joined us a few weeks later she instantly told the first one and asked me in front of her why hadn't I mentioned it to her that morning (thankfully neither of them knew that I hadn't mentioned it for weeks). I mumbled something about not noticing it, to which I got a "do you take me for a fool stare".

  • Thanks for that.
  • HylianHylian Citizen, Mentor
    The part where he doesn't even know what the dude was talking about anymore and now he has to respond is relatable. lol

    I get so distracted trying to show the person that I'm listening to them and trying to focus on masking that I end up horrible at actually listening to them. 
  • verityverity Administrator, Citizen
    edited February 14
    LOL

    I'm not a big advocate of imitation/emulation for this reason. If there is a processing delay then it is going to be harder to consternate on what they are saying.

    We have strengths, so I think playing to them and adapting them for social situations is possible. Especially if we have some control over the context. 
  • verity said:
    LOL

    I'm not a big advocate of imitation/emulation for this reason. If there is a processing delay then it is going to be harder to consternate on what they are saying.

    We have strengths, so I think playing to them and adapting them for social situations is possible. Especially if we have some control over the context. 

    Yep.  This is why we need to create autistic-friendly social spaces, and why we need there to be more autistic-friendly workplaces.  Only thus can we ditch the pressure to emulate NT body language.

  • I enjoyed this sketch so much - thank you! (It did also make me feel thankful that no one can hear my internal monologue, because it is so similar to this..)

    A few years ago, I volunteered as a Samaritan. The training was excellent and focused very much on active listening techniques. I learned more than in any other role I've ever done - and both the training and my experience as a volunteer have helped me with interaction in every part of my life since. The explanations, role playing and being taught how to listen for cues and help the other person to open up were all ideal for me.
  • verityverity Administrator, Citizen
    My grandfather joined the Samaritans after he retired, but when it was under Chad Varah, a very interesting man.

    My father who is likely on the spectrum, found that the training he received at the foreign office press office help him with social skills.
  • Very interesting. That is my department, too.
  • Not the press office - though I was a journalist before joining!
  • When I was a child people always commented that I didn't make eye contact, or else I stared and didn't blink enough.  I remember watching a television newscast and literally counting how many times the news anchor blinked in one minute.  I used a sand timer from a board game, and tried to copy blinking that many times in a minute while looking at my own eyes in the mirror.   I had it pretty much down pat, and thought it was likely acceptable, but like many others I realised I couldn't pay attention to the conversation if I was busy counting my blinks.  I pretty much gave up on eye contact after that.  Now I don't even try.  

    I suffer from agoraphobia and scopophobia, so every time I leave the house I feel like I'm on display and I run an internal dialogue about how to "walk".  This is because my grandmother was a model and she used to criticise my posture or make me walk with books on my head.  I am always self-correcting my posture ("head up, shoulders back, relax, don't relax too much, use your core muscles, don't be too rigid, swing your arms, swing your hips, don't swing too much, resist the urge to walk on the curb, don't do a pirouette in public, keep moving, take longer strides, take shorter strides ...")   That's no exaggeration.  

    Thanks for the video because it's very true. 





  • HylianHylian Citizen, Mentor
    I don't bother making eye contact anymore at this point, either. It's very distracting and I do the staring without blinking enough thing.

    I also always feel on "display" in public. I don't think I have a particular reason for it, I'm probably just used to being criticized enough that I'm now aware anyone could be looking at me and disapproving of me in some way. It's very stressful and I don't like being outside because of it, unless it's a rural, less populated area.
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