Talking to your parents
firemonkey
Citizen
in General ASD
Do any of you have difficulty talking to a parent or both parents? My father phoned to wish me happy birthday . There was 3 minutes or so of awkward/stilted conversation and then he gave my stepmother the phone. This is par for the course.
Comments
I've always found it very, very awkward to talk to my dad who has Asperger's. He mostly talks about himself and doesn't really respond to what I say.
My mother also possibly has autism/autistic traits (I have both her traits and my dads traits, and my autism is how we noticed she might have it), and it's sometimes awkward to talk to her because she just talks about what she wants to and talks over me, but she is still a lot more receptive to me talking.
Thankfully there's not a lot of awkward silence on the phone because they just talk away, but it does get annoying when I want to talk or get off the phone. lol
My Mom isn't alive any longer. I'm not a conversationalist on the phone with anyone for the most part so the same applies when I talk to my Dad on the phone.
Firemonkey: Are you a chatty person on the phone with people other than your parents?
Not overly so. My stepmother is quite politically minded(Democrat) and so am I(UK-Labour)so the conversation tends to centre round that.
My dad was a very quiet person with a speech impediment. He was almost certainly on the spectrum and very shy about talking to anyone. We'd go on long car trips and he wouldn't say a word, which is much like my personality. It suited me very well. We understood each other implicitly without talking very much. We had an intuitive connection. I recall very few actual conversations with him although we were very close.
I still have some recorded voicemail messages from him when he was in palliative care in the hospital. I'll never erase them. I've forwarded them every time I change my phone number and downloaded them onto computer.
My mother talks a lot, and can be overwhelming. I experience mutism when I'm with her, partly for emotional reasons and partly because it causes sensory overload for me. Sometimes I can be with her for a whole day and I won't say a word. I'm getting a lot better at speaking in her presence because she's been ill, and I have been an active caregiver for her these past few months.
I have days when having a long conversation is too mentally tiring . Then other days when that isn't a problem. A fairly regular event, dream wise, is my trying to speak and no words come out.
That's what my life feels like quite often. I want to say something, but my mouth won't cooperate to form words. I'm super chatty with my daughter and usually with my brother, but my mother has always caused me to shut down for some reason.
It's actually easier to talk to my mother on the phone than in person, but even then I'm still somewhat monosyllabic.
(Trying to add photo of @Statest16’s mother here for him. Attempt 1: does this link work?)
Edit: link deleted due to being superseded by post below.
Yes I opened it K.
Statest's mother is beautiful but I think it gives your real name before opening K and you may not want that.
It does?!
I don’t see that: but then I’m logged in on my phone so it probably wouldn’t...
Not sure how to sort that out...
Yes, his name is visible, you can delete the link if he has privacy concerns.
Here's the picture
Ah, cool: I’ll edit the link out now
Late 1960's before I was born Hi mom!
Carol 1947-1997
RIP, that's a very beautiful picture
Thank you
She is lovely Statest and her face seems to radiate happiness and humour.
Yes,very much so,good observation.
Were you close to her? A good parent can leave such a long-lasting, beautiful mark on their children.
Yes,fairy so I would say.
She passed away too young.
Yes, but that which is loved is never lost.
Absolutely.
She's absolutely stunning, @Statest16!! You look a lot like her around your eyes.
That looks like a marina. Did you go boating? (sorry - off topic for @firemonkey).
Rest in peace, Carol.
RIP, Carol. Your mom was very pretty, Statest and that smile of hers is amazing. I'm sorry that she died so young.
Sorry I never meant to highjack the thread
Thnx
No need to be sorry. All's fine.